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Scene 1: I am reading in the living room, and DH stops by on his way to get something to drink.
Him: On House they were just doing that CSI camera thing where the camera goes into somebody's body. Except they were going into this woman's nose. And then I paused the TiVo, and now the whole TV screen is filled up with this woman's nostril.
Him: I just didn't want to be the only one with that mental picture.
Scene 2: DH is fixing dinner, while I settle Raisin in her high chair and set the table. I finish a few minutes before dinner is ready, and Raisin is getting impatient.
Raisin: Mommy! Snack! Snack! Milk! Mommy! (ad infinitum)
Me: Raisin, you're hungry, huh? (yes, stating the obvious is my specialty. shut up.)
Me: Well, tell Daddy to hurry up! (didn't think she knew this phrase)
Raisin: HURRY UP, DADDY!!!! (oops, guess she did)
DH, as I collapse in helpless giggles: Nice going!
Scene 3: After dinner.
DH: Raisin, are you all done? (no response, but also no indication of wanting to eat)
Me: Raisin, are you done? (no response, I pull her chair away from the table)
Raisin: No! Mine! Mine!
DH, recognizing this as a ploy: No, Raisin, you're done. Do you want to take a bath?
Raisin: No bath, Daddy! No Daddy, no no no!
Me, surprised: Raisin, are you sure!? You don't want to take a bath?
Raisin: Mommy bath! Yeah.
Scene 4, which I belatedly remembered after Scene 2: My brother is showing us his Napoleon Dynamite toy, which says several phrases from the movie.
Doll: ...It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.
Me: Oh, boy. We should probably turn that thing off. Next thing you know, Raisin will be saying "idiot!" all the time.
Me: I am the stupidest person ever.