Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Please Give Me Advice, Part II

My lovely and loving husband recently brought up an interesting point. Raisin is most definitely a mama's girl. DH takes this really well, but it can be really frustrating for both of us. For him, because some days he'd rather just get a kiss instead of, "NO DADDY!!! NO NO NO NO NO!" For me, because some days there is simply no other choice but for Raisin and I to be glued at the hip. It's the only way for all of us to keep our sanity.

Does anyone out there have any words of wisdom about this? We've been told before that there are "mommy" phases and "daddy" phases. So far, her entire life has pretty much been a mommy phase, with definite peaks and valleys -- times, like the last two weeks, when she'll hardly tolerate anyone else, and other times when she's a very easy-going kid. Are the daddy phases still coming?

Also, even during the valleys, I have to admit she's still pretty easy-going. She rarely cries when being left with a trusted caregiver. She enjoys daycare and seems to really thrive there. So, I'm not even sure this really is a problem, or if we'd be creating a problem by trying to force her feelings one way or the other.

Thoughts?

5 comments:

Beth Fish said...

What do I know, but Mia is the same. Dad is good for fun sometimes, but mama is where it's at.

Jenn said...

Sam is the same -- always has been. He loves dad and if I'm not in the room dad is the greatest thing ever. But if he has a choice it's all about mom. With my parents it's all about Poppy. Last time my mom was here she asked Doug if he'd like to join her in the "chopped liver" department. I don't think you can change it, but I try to make sure Doug and Sam do lots of cool stuff together. For example dad does bath time, dad takes him to swimming lessons. So at least they have time together!

Jenn

Jane said...

I have no clue. The Bear is very equal opportunity - to the point of being a daddy's girl. We picked her up at daycare together the other day, and when she saw us, she walked right past me and said, "Daddy!" with a big old grin.

For what it's worth (approximately nothing, mind you) I say let her do her thing, but don't encourage the clinginess. If she wants you, great. But make sure she has ample time to hang out with her dad and see how cool he can be. Go grocery shopping by yourself and leave the two of them at home together... see what happens.

Julie said...

Thanks, everybody. We'll try giving more opportunities for Raisin and DH to bond. What sucks about parenting is that you don't see the final results until, like, 20 years after you make the mistake. AWESOME.

Jody said...

Ask Moxie had something about this not long ago -- last week? You might want to see what came up in that thread.

What works best for us (we have one very definite mommy's girl, and she's never really budged) is to have special Daddy trips. We started those when the kids were older -- around three? -- and they don't happen often, but they are much anticipated. The library or the grocery store are good places to start.