Justice

Ok, so today I heard a story on the radio about a woman who left her three children (the oldest of whom is 3) alone at her apartment while she went to try to see a Jerry Springer* taping. After FIVE HOURS, the oldest one knocked on a neighbor's door for help. Police were called, charges filed, and the mother is spending 30 days in prison. (The kids will be entered into the foster care system.)

My question is: 30 days? I know nothing about this woman except this incident. Maybe she's ordinarily a very loving and protective mother. Maybe she understands that losing her kids is the worst thing that could happen to her. Maybe serving 30 days' time will convince her to get whatever help or support she needs (assuming, of course, that she can afford it).

But maybe not. I have to say, my gut reaction to this was that she deserves much worse. If she'd had the care of MY child, I wouldn't be able to think of a punishment harsh enough for abandonment. And why should her children have any less protection than mine?

*The DJ's punchline: "... and now Jerry Springer would like to have her as a guest on the show."

Yesterday

5:45 am: Decide to get up a few minutes earlier than normal.
5:45 am: Use "extra" time to have peaceful breakfast. Read.
6:15 am: Realize that "peaceful" breakfast has now actually made you later than usual. Curse.
6:16 am: Raisin uses her internal radar to realize that you are already late. She wakes up earlier than usual, demanding attention. Curse (inwardly of course).
6:17 am: Husband takes over with Raisin, allowing you to shower. Relax a little.
6:30 am: Get out of shower and commence trying to dry hair and apply makeup with Raisin underfoot so DH can shower.
6:50 am: Self and Raisin both groomed, but both in pajamas. Dress Raisin.
7:05 am: CURSE CURSE CURSE. Raisin is dressed, but you are not. Work bag not packed. CURSE.
7:06 am: DH offers to take Raisin to daycare. Relax a little.
7:19 am: Finally manage to leave house, clothed and relatively put-together. Relax a little more.
7:40 am: Almost to parking garage. Realize can still be on time to work. Decide day will not totally suck.
7:41 am: Get honked at by idiot who thinks it's your fault he's blocking traffic. Curse.
7:45 am: Watch, shivering, from the bus stop as two buses fly by without stopping. Curse.
8:00 am: Arrive at work.
8:00 - 10:00 am: Work work work, meeting meeting meeting. Feel productive and hopeful. Project may be OK. Cheer up a little.
10:05 am: Attend Weight Watchers weigh-in. Realize have lost 4 pounds. REJOICE AND SING.
10:15 am: Return to work. All hell has broken loose with project. Curse.
10:15 - 2:00: Miss several meetings while scrambling to prepare for afternoon presentation. Project falls down around ankles, but presentation WILL BE READY DAMMIT.
2:00-3:30 pm: Give presentation. Unexpectedly, it goes really well. Cheer up quite a bit.
3:31 pm: Return to desk. Different project has run into problems. Curse.
3:35-4:12 pm: Work out new problems. Relax a little.
4:13-5:00 pm: Catch up on emails and phone calls. Leave feeling cautiously optimistic.
5:00-5:40 pm: Commute home and pick up Raisin at daycare.
5:43 pm: Set Raisin up with TiVo'd Sesame Street while DH cooks dinner and you start gathering trash for tomorrow's pick-up.
5:55 pm: Finish with trash. Head out to trash can to deposit. Trip and sprawl spectacularly across deck. Twist ankle, bruise knee, and scrape hand. Curse.
6:00 pm: Put on pajamas. Cry a little.
6:02 pm: Suck it up.
6:04-6:30 pm: Eat dinner.
6:30-6:55 pm: Clean kitchen. DH bathes Raisin and puts her to bed.
6:57-7:09 pm: Talk to MIL on phone. Feel better.
7:10-8:00 pm: Watch Gilmore Girls on TiVo. Threaten writers that LUKE AND LORELAI HAD BETTER GET MARRIED DAMMIT.
8:00-10:00 pm: Watch TV, yadda yadda yadda.
11:30 pm: SLEEP. Thank God.

Please Give Me Advice, Part II

My lovely and loving husband recently brought up an interesting point. Raisin is most definitely a mama's girl. DH takes this really well, but it can be really frustrating for both of us. For him, because some days he'd rather just get a kiss instead of, "NO DADDY!!! NO NO NO NO NO!" For me, because some days there is simply no other choice but for Raisin and I to be glued at the hip. It's the only way for all of us to keep our sanity.

Does anyone out there have any words of wisdom about this? We've been told before that there are "mommy" phases and "daddy" phases. So far, her entire life has pretty much been a mommy phase, with definite peaks and valleys -- times, like the last two weeks, when she'll hardly tolerate anyone else, and other times when she's a very easy-going kid. Are the daddy phases still coming?

Also, even during the valleys, I have to admit she's still pretty easy-going. She rarely cries when being left with a trusted caregiver. She enjoys daycare and seems to really thrive there. So, I'm not even sure this really is a problem, or if we'd be creating a problem by trying to force her feelings one way or the other.

Thoughts?

Tidbits

I have readers! Thank you for commenting!

Scene 1: I am reading in the living room, and DH stops by on his way to get something to drink.
Him: On House they were just doing that CSI camera thing where the camera goes into somebody's body. Except they were going into this woman's nose. And then I paused the TiVo, and now the whole TV screen is filled up with this woman's nostril.
Me: Um...
Him: I just didn't want to be the only one with that mental picture.
Me: Thanks?

Scene 2: DH is fixing dinner, while I settle Raisin in her high chair and set the table. I finish a few minutes before dinner is ready, and Raisin is getting impatient.
Raisin: Mommy! Snack! Snack! Milk! Mommy! (ad infinitum)
Me: Raisin, you're hungry, huh? (yes, stating the obvious is my specialty. shut up.)
Raisin: Hungry!
Me: Well, tell Daddy to hurry up! (didn't think she knew this phrase)
Raisin: HURRY UP, DADDY!!!! (oops, guess she did)
DH, as I collapse in helpless giggles: Nice going!

Scene 3: After dinner.
DH: Raisin, are you all done? (no response, but also no indication of wanting to eat)
Me: Raisin, are you done? (no response, I pull her chair away from the table)
Raisin: No! Mine! Mine!
DH, recognizing this as a ploy: No, Raisin, you're done. Do you want to take a bath?
Raisin: No bath, Daddy! No Daddy, no no no!
Me, surprised: Raisin, are you sure!? You don't want to take a bath?
Raisin: Mommy bath! Yeah.

Scene 4, which I belatedly remembered after Scene 2: My brother is showing us his Napoleon Dynamite toy, which says several phrases from the movie.
Doll: ...It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.
Me: Oh, boy. We should probably turn that thing off. Next thing you know, Raisin will be saying "idiot!" all the time.
Raisin: Idiot!
Me: I am the stupidest person ever.

I almost missed it....

But this is De-Lurking week!

From my stats, I doubt I have a lot of visitors who aren't commenting, but if you are, please comment this week. I'd love to know you're out there!

So tired. So very, very tired.

Sleep is very important to me. If I don't get the requisite 7-8 hours my body demands, ugly things are gonna happen. I have empirical evidence of that this week, to wit:

--One morning, I got out two spoons with which to eat my breakfast cereal. Once I realized the error, I chose to make use of both spoons because that was easier than returning one to the drawer.

--I had to do math in my head to figure out whether I needed to take the elevator up or down to get from the third floor of my office building to the fifth.

--I nearly cried when a DJ on the radio announced that excessive caffeine consumption can cause ringing in the ears. I don't drink that much coffee, nor do I have ringing in my ears. I just thought it was sad.

--A friend I rarely see is having lunch tomorrow with another friend, and I am thinking about not joining them because it would be during Raisin's naptime, and WHAT IF I NEED A NAP TOO!?

I wonder if I could get me some of those poppies the Wicked Witch of the West used to make Dorothy fall asleep?

Welcome, 2006!

We rang in the New Year at my brother's house, with his wife, my parents, my cousin, and his wife.

The awesome things about this arrangement: there was lots of booze, and laughter. We don't see much of my dad's side of the family, as represented by the cousin who came, so it was fun to catch up with him. My parents brought fireworks, which we set off in the snow in my brother's backyard. Fireworks look especially bright and beautiful in the snow.

The drawbacks to this arrangement: My cousin and his wife, and my brother for that matter, are crazy mad partiers compared to the rest of us. At first, it is just funny when someone else is drunker than you. Then you realize how old and suburban and parentlike you truly are (especially if you're like me and have always been the boring sibling). Then, it's just plain awkward. At least I was spared the part where my cousin passed out....

Also, Raisin is apparently old enough now to be frightened of sleeping in strange places. She slept fitfully, and DH and I kept missing chunks of the party while we tried to soothe her back to sleep. Finally, after watching the ball drop and toasting 2006, we gave up the party and went to bed with her between us. Not exactly conducive to a good night's sleep.

But, after all, I can't think of a more blessed way to begin my new year. My daughter was snuggled in my arms and my husband was holding my hand. The people I love most were all under the same roof. If the way the year begins foretells something of the way it will progress, then I couldn't have chosen a more perfect beginning.

And if anyone threw up this morning, I didn't witness it. Even better.