I'm Outta Here!

We're off to "Up North." I hope to return with lots of my-family-is-crazy stories. Bye!

Inquiring Minds....

Jenn (thanks for reading! I feel all popular today!) asked about my reunion trip drama. So, the saga:

DH and I hadn't come up with any solutions that made us both feel OK, and he was lamenting to his mom. Lo and behold, she has frequent flyer miles to burn. Fabulous! The Hobbit and DH will visit California for a long weekend.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, everytime a good fare comes up for Really Fun City, it expires before my girlfriends and I can decide to go for it. Ahh, irony, I think. DH will have a wonderful weekend, and I will be stuck at home alone. Serves me right.

Never fear, however! All is now well. Really Fun City, here we come! We found decent fares, the tickets are booked, hurray! Now, please just pray that Northwest's mechanics will not strike, or at least that their replacements will not screw up all the planes. I'm all about solidarity up to a point, but this is my vacation we're talking about!

Also, this will be the first time I've been away from the Hobbit overnight. Ever. How is it possible to look forward to something and dread it this much all at the same time!?

Things That Make Me Smile (Even On Monday)

1. The way my grandma personalizes cards. If she can't find a card for my daughter that says "great granddaughter," she will write in a caret and the word "great" before the "granddaughter," so that no one will wonder if she really believes the Hobbit is her granddaughter. She also crosses out "I" and writes in "we," because she thinks that will fool us into thinking my grandfather gave this thoughtful card a lot of his attention. Hard to believe, since his handwriting hasn't appeared in a card in my 27-year history. We love him anyway.

2. That everyone in my family is hoarding quarters. That way, when we go on vacation en masse next week, everyone will have money to lose to Grandpa when he pulls out the deck of cards.

3. The way the Hobbit has taken to pointing out everything that touches the floor as "uh-oh."

4. The gleeful way she ran from her room this morning, clad in nothing but a diaper and clutching the onesie I was trying to pull over her head. Also, the fact that she was delighted when I chased her down the hall and bodily hefted her back to finish dressing.

5. That as I was getting dressed, she handed me my shirt, even though it covered her almost head to toe.

6. That when I said it was time to put her toys away, she pushed the box into the closet herself. Then, she pulled it right back out again and started taking out toys. Still, I'm counting that as a major listening success!

7. That my husband watches The Gilmore Girls with me, and even lets me talk about the characters like they're real people we know.

8. That he also restrains himself from too much eye-rolling when I reminisce about the best TV show ever, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.

9. That my brother refers to his wife as "Aunt Frank" in front of the Hobbit, in hopes that she will call her that. Officially, I side with my mother and sister-in-law that this is a bad idea. Unofficially, I think it would pretty darn funny if the Hobbit did pick it up.

10. I am 5 days away from vacation!!!!!!!!!!! What should I read, by the way?

I Blame My Father

If anyone was tempted to try the new Starbucks Green Tea Frappucino, please don't. I was drawn in by the cool, refreshing greenness of the ad. Lies, all lies! It was sickeningly sweet and cloyingly thick.

Of course, I drank it anyway, because I could hear my father in my head, "Well, that's $3.65 down the drain!"

Thanks a lot, Dad!

In Defense of Country

If you're looking for insightful patriotic commentary, you've come to the wrong place (at least today). Sorry.

A while back, Jane had a good chuckle because of my confession that I enjoy country music. Because I am a glutton for punishment, I'm actually going to defend myself. Really, how can you not love this stuff? Here are some of the best titles (too good to be true, and yet they are!):

"The American Honky-Tonk Bar Association"

"The Redneck Yacht Club"

"Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?"

"Country Boys and Girls Gettin' Down on the Farm"

And, the crown jewel, with which I torture my husband every December:

"Please, Daddy, Don't Get Drunk This Christmas ('Cause I Don't Want to See My Momma Cry)"

Yee-Haw.

Bad Mommy. Bad, Bad, Bad!

In preparation for spending several hours yesterday in the blazing sun, I slathered myself with SPF 50 sunblock (this is not an exaggeration, they really make it that strong) to protect my lotus-petal skin from damage (that might be an exaggeration, but I'm feeling a little low today, so tell me I'm pretty, ok?).

The Hobbit, who really does have beautiful skin, did not receive this treatment, because while she was outside, she was not in the sun. I therefore believed her to be safe. I'm sure by now you've all seen where this is going -- the Hobbit now has her first sunburn, and I have what must be my 1,357,789th case of mommy guilt.

When we got home, I popped the sunburned, tired, hungry, thirsty Hobbit into her high chair, hoping to remedy half of what ailed her. I pinched her thigh with the buckle as I strapped her in. 1,357,790.

She is now safely in the hands of child care professionals, who may or may not let me take her back tonight.

Let's Make a List! (C'mon, it'll be fun)

THINGS THAT ARE GOOD:
-Small skim white chocolate mocha from Caribou
-Figuring out problems at work
-Knowing the Hobbit will soon be in the Toddler Room away from The Baby Biter

THINGS THAT ARE BAD:
-Knowing I should drink less coffee
-Having my boss stop by at random times to see if I've figured out a problem yet (Hello! What if I'm doing something important like blogging!?)
-Knowing the Hobbit will soon be in the Toddler Room with all the big, mean toddlers who will pick on my poor baby and can probably bite harder than The Baby Biter

It all seems to balance out. I'm very zen that way.